Tiger Woods. A fan's scary pencil drawing.

Scary, somewhere between Jerry Seinfeld & the one off  'Friends' who dated Chandler.

Polara Ultimate Straight Golf Balls - On Test

Polara Ultimate Straight golf balls. Okay, straight off the bat, these balls are illegal to use in any tournaments, and are designed for recreational golfers. I tested these balls over three 18 hole rounds.

Click picture to go to Polara Website for info

They do what they say on the tin, they are very, very straight off the tee, and handily have an alignment arrow that should be pointed at where you want the ball to go. This can create a few problems, especially if you have poor alignment in the first place! If you are aiming left, they go left, it's worth giving yourself a double check on the tee just to make sure it's pointing down the fairway. Also you have to lift the ball on the fairway to realign the arrow for your next shot, which is of course illegal, unless you are playing Winter rules. If you don't realign the arrow, they are supposed to behave more like a normal ball & react accordingly, they sort of did, but still had a massive run out when they landed. You can adjust your landing zone to accomodate the run. I initially found the ball to be quite hard and unresponsive, & the noticeable lack distance on slight mis-hits (but still straight) didn't instil me with confidence standing over it on the fairway. The Polara is also difficult to get airborne with a 10.5 degree driver (but it does run a mile when it lands), so I think a 12-14 degree loft would be a better option. Which again makes me think it is aimed at the high handicap player. I did find however, if you tee it slightly higher and hit it harder you could get it out there.

The Ultimate Straight golf balls are not designed for better players, this technology was mainly created for those who have an issue with the dreaded slice. The technology works on hookers as well, eliminating up to 75% of all wayward ball movement. (depending on how bad your swing is)

In conclusion they are ultimately for 20+ hcp players who maybe play with their pals a few times a year, and are not bothered by feel & spin, only by how many balls they lose. The feedback is almost non-existent and clunky  around the greens, & they performed poorly off wedge and putter faces compared to say Titleist NXT, SOLO or a SRIXON soft feel. All of which are considerably cheaper than the £29.99 per dozen for the Polara's. Fun but not for regular golfers.

Click picture for Soft Feel info @ bargain price of £12.95 Free Shipping!

These are the balls I use as a staple throughout Summer & Winter. I have also tried the new Srixon tri-speed £22.99, which is a three piece ball designed for all types of golfers, but is of course a tenner per dozen more than the soft feel, and it doesn't seem a lot different to me.

Click picture for NXT Tour info @£22.99

I used the NXT Tour when I first started playing and it is a great ball for a mid handicap player, providing a cheaper alternative to the Titleist Pro V1 and Pro V1x. The NXT provided a great feel and a great explosion of the driver face. I just happened to get a job lot of Srixon soft feels and loved them!

Click picture for Taylormade Burner info TP @ £21.99 

Being a long term Taylormade fan I tried various types of their balls and found these to be excellent value, very similar to their high end Penta balls and the NXT Tour.

Nerve Damage, Hole In One, Corduroy Flares & Hi-Fives

My golf club membership ran out on the 30^th April 2011. For the first time since 2006 I was a golfing nomad with no base or knowing nods from other golfers as they looked at my membership bag tags. No clique, no place to sit comfortably & slag off recreational golfers in the bar who had no club membership, so therefore were not ‘proper’ golfers. Seeing as I had played the equivalent of 18 months worth of golf in 4, I needed a break anyway. And to ostracise myself even more my handicap for the year went (gasps) inactive. Which, it turns out, is not as life threatening as the obolo virus as I first thought, and can be easily reactivated.

I decided to play one more team comp at the end of May this year, and coming off the 18^th felt a numbness in my pinky & ring finger. I shrugged it off as the effects of my classic over the top, unbelievably steep, mid iron swing on the 16^th as I tried to crush a 5 iron 220yds. Days later it became worse and playing a quick 9 holes made my forearm feel totally numb. As a typical male I thought, "it will be better in a week or two" Long story short, after a doctor’s visit & various tests, the doc said it was ulnar neuropathy. Which is nerve compression around the elbow joint and is similar to an RSI injury. He informed me carpenters, painters and secretaries get it. “Well I don’t do a lot of sawing, errrm, could I get it from loads of golf, playing guitar in a band, and spending too much time on Facebook and Twitter?" ”Yes, that could do it too” Four months later it is a bit better, but after initial research it could take 18 months to 2 years to *possibly* clear up. So with that in mind I decided 5 rounds of golf in one week at the end of September was the proper way to convalesce.

Monday. A free round courtesy of Nike Golf at any De Vere course. With only days left to spare on the voucher I chose Staverton Park as it was the nearest one to me in the Midlands. Apart from playing in the coat tails of Hurricane Katia which caused a huge tree to be blown over on the 10^th fairway 90 minutes before our tee off, I really enjoyed playing this course. Staverton Park is a surprisingly mature course with great facilities and pleasant staff. facilities include a good driving range and a couple of practice greens. (unused by me) The best thing about the course, apart from the pretty surroundings, was the well kept greens, even with heavy traffic they held up great. Another refreshing change was the fact you could use all the clubs in your bag, even off the yellow tees. Definitely going back to play this one next Summer.

Thursday. Ombersley  Gc. Tetley Food Corporate Golf Day. Thanks to the guys at Prima Foods for the invite. I have played in this a few times, scoring well, but never winning. (Banditos) I decided my pre-round routine this year would involve two pints of Kronenberg and Nobby's Chilli Nuts. It paid off as my first drive was crushed onto the front edge of the green 330 yds away (downwind). I had a superb front nine scoring one over gross for 26pts. It would have been one under if not for a penalty drop from a wayward drive into a hedge on the 3rd. My driving this week has in large part been my best ever, I would like to  keep this consistency, but my Seve-esque escapes would become redundant, and nobody wants that. Highlights were my long game, driving 3 greens and unfortunately, going through the back of a par 5 in two. The back nine was a lot scrappier, apart from the 16^th hole which is a slight downhill dog leg right to left, with a hidden green 316yds away. I smashed mine first, “That’ll be close to the green” I said cockily as my two partners proceeded to hit their best drives of the day. Two monster draws better than mine. As we got to the green, which is 15 feet below the fairway, I could see two balls, one 10 feet away from the pin, the other 15 feet. “Where’s mine?” 22 handicapper Pete said as we looked in the rough beyond the green. Me..“Hang on a sec, I have a funny feeling……” Yep, hole in one on a 316yd blind par four from a 22 handicap golfer. Awesome. I looked it up today, it was a net ‘Condor’. My subsequent references of calling him 'Condorman' didn't land, am I only one of a handful of people who actually remembers Michael Crawford's 1981 superhero film? Anyway, I had a total of 48pts, a 76 gross. I lost of course, to 50pts……

Friday. Mapperly.Four miles outside of Nottingham. A very hilly course, but a pleasant enough track to start the weekend off. It has a good mix of holes, and the greens were in excellent condition. Golf clothing today was a vintage Arnold Palmer polo shirt with massive collars and brown hipster flared cords. (Apparently not everyone agrees Spiderman boxer shorts are cool, which they got to critique every time I got my ball out of the hole) So, I was first on the tee. Seven of my mates stood behind taking the p**s. Smash. Right down the middle. Not a lot to report golf wise but I played solid, driving and putting the ball really well, scoring 32 points coming in second place. I did buy a Ping Rapture 3 wood from the pro shop using it only once, after cutting it into trees. Researching the course, which is over a 100 years old, it seems the local council want to build 1,900 homes on the site of the course. There was a protest from members in the city with banners that read “HANDS OFF OUR COURSE…..me duck”

Saturday. The Nottinghamshire. Second time I have played here. See older blog about ‘The Hooters’ golf day. Straight away, car park banter from a complete stranger, “You have to be good mate, to play golf in those trousers” (pink tartan flares ) Me “Well, by that trouser logic, you must be shocking”. The (Open Course) has a good back nine, but the front nine is very bland, I would suggest they rename it 'The Katie Melua' At £40, this is vastly overpriced for what you get, £25 tops would be a much better valuation. It was nice of the parents at a wedding party somewhere in the hotel to let their children run all over the 9^th green and fairway, as it must have saved the greenstaff a lot of winter labour hours, letting young girls hollow tine the green with their heels.

I played poorly from the tee today, carving out a cut/block for the entire round. I lost the pairs and the singles match on the 18^th hole. Maybe being the only one not in a buggy was a schoolboy error. I was too cream crackered from dancing away in Flares (now called Reveal) in Nottingham city centre until the early hours. I must have been good though, I got hi-fived by two burly pimps at least twice as I danced to Cliff Richards ‘Devil Woman’ on the smallest revolving dance floor I have ever seen.

Sunday. Whittington Heath.Lichfield. We played a Ryder Cup style event, arranged by my friend who bumped into these guys a few times during various am-am events last year. Whittington is an absolutely fantastic golf course, again another old course under pressure as the council want part of the land to run a hi-speed rail track through it. It was previously a nine hole layout inside a race track. (see club history) It was a delight to play, the texture of the fairways was superb, giving you a satisfying ‘thunk’ as your iron squeezed the ball off the turf. I hit a career shot on a long par four after duffing my tee shot 140 yds. The new Ping 3 wood came out the bag and worked well as I smashed the ball 240 yds into wind, watching it fade on cue to the centre of the green. I was amazed as the ball landed like a butterfly with blisters. That must be what it feels like to be a pro golfer, they do that, ALL.THE.TIME. I’ll keep that club in the bag for a while I think. Our playing partners, Tony and Rolf, were also great fun to play with, and their banter was a comedy constant all the way around, continuing into the clubhouse where we reminisced about my 11 up the par 5 first. To be fair I was still feeling delicate and looking very pale from the previous nights shenanigans, and an air shot can make even the sternest golfer crack a smile. We halved the match, which was the right result, even though I had a 10 footer to win our match, I'm glad it lipped out for the half. With hindsight I wish I had done a Ryder Cup style Jack Nicklaus concession, in the spirit of the great afternoon we had, but mainly because of the vintage Tony Jacklin polo shirt I was wearing.

Granicus

Lou Reed Wolverhampton Civic Hall 1st July 2011

It didn't start well. As I walked through the entrance a friend who works at the Civic Hall told me, "He's not going on for another hour, he shuffled in earlier and overran the sound-check, also, the bar is shutting at 9" (5 mins!) Now I know he is pushing 70, and has legendary temper tantrums and mood swings, but it was not a good start if I was missing much needed imbibement. I had missed seeing the reformed Velvet Underground in 1994 at Glastonbury, so I was really looking forward to the gig, as the music press had said it would be the 'Greatest Hits' of Lou Reed.

The much delayed start prompted some deserved, if not poor, heckling. Some was aimed at me from the two couples behind who asked "Why have you got 4 pints?, it's bloody sloshing everywhere" I informed her of the imminent bar curfew & politely offered them one for a tenner (he did think about it for a few seconds, but declined looking deflated & thirsty) I plonked myself down splashing the lady & her daughter next to me.

A frail looking Mr Burns, I mean Reed walked on stage as the band chimed into ‘Who Loves The Sun’ A favourite of mine, off the 1970 Loaded album, sung by Doug Yule. To say the sound was a bit rough round the edges, is an understatement, Lou was immediately off key, out of time, and struggling with the lyrics. After a few songs it became clear that the band were using this gig as a warm up for the tour. They tried in vain to decipher Lou's arm waving to 'bring the groove down' but didn't really know he meant so carried on. The promise of greatest hits disappeared quickly with late 70's album tracks ‘Senselessly Cruel’ & ‘Temporary Thing’ given a dust off. Lou hasn't performed these songs in over 30 years and to be fair to the band they did start to come together after 4-5 songs. ‘Smalltown’ clearly had been rehearsed and was a tighter progression than the previous songs. It's dark, dynamic of loud/quiet Pixie's style arrangement worked really well. A cover of  ‘Mother’ (John Lennon) was leftfield, and it was surprisingly good in places, with Lou giving the lyrics a real pounding, but again, it was over-long  and you felt it should have finished 3-4 minutes sooner.

For me, the best part of the show was the Velvet Underground & Nico LP  ‘unplugged’ section. ‘Venus In Furs’ was a faithful, powerful rendition, with great musicianship from the band. ‘Sunday Morning’ & ‘Femme Fatale’ were stripped down and delicately delivered, but when the lady next to you with the damp Stella Artois stained trousers says "Ohhh you have got a lovely voice" as I harmonised the backing to 'Femme Fatale' it confirmed Lou Reed was not giving one of his seminal performances.

The encore of 'Sweet Jane' & 'Charleys Girl' again were not received greatly, and you could sense even the die hard fans were forcing the 'whoo's' and 'Looooou' as Sweet Jane plodded on. Reed hardly played his guitar all through the set which was very disappointing, but maybe it was down to age or just wanting to drop in and out of the songs where he felt it was needed, he clearly felt the waving of his arms up & down throughout was more important. The last song was ‘The Bells’ which according to Reed, had "Sold 30 copies" he went on to say "it was one of his favourite songs" Not mine Lou. 

Okay it started late and there were technical problems, the band was under rehearsed , it was only a warm up, but I paid £38 & I expected a more professional approach to the show from him. My friend went on Monday to the  London show, and said "He played much better than you told me, but you never mentioned the gut!" Writing this blog, I viewed the London shows on You-Tube, he was wrong, but he also likes Ozric Tentacles.

Set List

1 Intro
2 Who Loves The Sun
3 Senselessly Cruel
4 Temporary Thing
5 Ecstacy
6 Smalltown
7 Mother (John Lennon cover)
8 Venus In Furs
9 Sunday Morning
10 Femme Fatale
11 Think It Over
12 Fly Into The Sun
13 All Through The Night
14 Encore 1
15 Charley's Girl
16 Sweet Jane
17 The Bells 

RORY MCILROY US OPEN & BRITISH OPEN CHAMPION 2011?

I went to a local PGA event (The Belfry, Quinn British Masters) in 2007. It was Rory Mcilroy's first event as a pro I believe. I was already aware of him as the No 1 amateur, and fully expected him, based on those performances, to easily make the smooth transition into the pro ranks. He did. As I followed this 17 year old around the Brabazon back nine, I was amazed by two things at this now defunct event (that's another blog, the lack of UK tournaments). Firstly, it was the 'sound' the ball and club made when Rory struck shots, and secondly, just how far this young kid was hitting it. I have played with scratch players and local pro's and yes, they were good, but they never sounded like that when they tee'd off. Mcilroy ultimately finished a disappointing T42 in his first pro event. 

A smooth, solid, satisfying thwack, a bit like a VW car door closing shut. More importantly it just seemed so fluid and effortless. 

 

Vorsprung Durch Technik

17 year old Rory at The Quinn Masters 2007

Can Rory go on and achieve multiple majors? Yes. Look at his record in the last few majors. Tied 3rd in 2010 at the USPGA and The Open. It seems his game is now prepared to peak around the big tournaments just like Tiger. He could possibly go on to topple Jacks record of 18 comfortably if he continues to progress and win at this rate. Rory has at least another 80 potential starts in majors! Is he our Tiger?, only time will tell. All golf fans need someone to root for coming down the back nine on a Sunday, now that Eldrick sadly seems to be too hampered by long term knee injuries and off course shenanigans. He is slowly turning into a star zoo curio, that can still do a good matinee turn, but clearly has been out in the sun for too long to do the evening show without needing forty winks.

Meltdown at Augusta

This years Masters, where Rory tried to protect his lead, plus the added pressure of winning his first major, probably became the factors for him not playing his natural game and attacking the course like he did the first 3 days. He went into the final round with a four-shot lead, but was ultimately devastated when he ended up finishing in joint 15th place. He took to hiding his crushed face in the crook of his arm when it all started to go wrong, or as my friends Dad put it "I knew he was in trouble when he started sniffing his armpit" That final round 80 could just prove to be the most influential round of golf mentally for Rory in the long run.  I am also glossing over the fact I had a tenner at approx 30/1 on him to win. I did drown my sorrows with friends over a few beer's and a curry, washed down with white chocolate buttons. Wounder.

Anything you can do....

Jack Nicklaus also believes Rory can do great things, "only if he keeps his head together" I can't see this being a problem, the way the game is structured today, thanks to the likes of Palmer, Nicklaus and Seve, who were the first superstars. Rory has been groomed to be a global superstar from a very early age, with a network of people behind him, including his family and charismatic manager Chubby Chandler to look after him. He also has Gmac, Poulter, Westwood and all the other Ryder Cup players to bring him back down to earth on Twitter, who would have guessed Westwood can be quite funny? Poulter, on the other hand, comes over exactly like you you thought he would.

Young Rory with his dad Gerry

Happy Fathers Day

I have been watching golf on Sky Sports for the last 6 or 7 years, and I am really struggling to think of a more precise 4 rounds of 'exhibition' golf that delivered such a crushing winning margin by any other player in that time, in any tournament, let alone a major. I unfortunately missed Tiger in his pomp during 2000, but have watched him close out tournaments week after week on tour and in majors with ease in that 2005-2008 period. Rory may not have that cloak of 'invincibility' yet or the 'Tiger Fear Factor'. But he surely is not far away from it. 

Mines a Guinness as he climbs to 4th in the rankings

Sorry Rory, but I will be putting some dough on you to win at Royal St Georges in a few weeks.......

Rory Gallagher

Pete Yorn HMV Institute Birmingham

I missed seeing Pete Yorn play around 8 years ago, because a friend & his then girlfriend,  were on the rocks. I decided not to go to the gig with them to give them a chance to reconnect without my usual drunk ramblings getting in the way. I had to wait until May 2011 for Pete to tour the UK again. When he came on stage with his band, they looked like street fighter's from Scorsese's Gangs Of New York. The guitarist with his long, lank hair and switch-blade eyes played sparingly throughout the set adding only 'just enough' to the songs. The bass player resembles Mario out of the popular Nintendo game, but plumbing aside, he effortlessly sang perfect harmonies, even doing Scarlett Johansson's vocal part on the 2009 hit, Relator. Pete Yorn may just have *THE* best hair in modern rock. Tonight's particular barnet resembled Mario Kempes awesome 1978 World Cup winning thatch. 














Yorn is a great showman, who really delivers a good, solid set, sometimes mercurial, especially with an acoustic guitar. He goes into a trance like state occasionally on-stage, completely lost in his music & almost seemingly reliving his lyrics. The opening cover of The Smiths 'Panic' was an easy song to segue into his well known originals such as, Life On A Chain, Strange Condition, All At Once & For Nancy, which is where Pete really sounds at his best. Yorn has released 5 full length records since Music For The Morning After, and hasn't really delivered on the early promise of his first two records. Nightcrawler (3rd lp) and Back & Forth (4th) had their moments, but for me, didn't contain the catchy power pop singles that his early albums had. The record with Johansson  has some catchy tunes, but was probably a vehicle by the record company to get them both some exposure. His contemporary Jesse Malin has a similar vibe on his early records (The Fine Art Of Self Destruction & The Heat) but changed back to his earlier punk sound (D Generation) to refresh his output. Maybe Yorn needs to have a look at his own back catalogue. However, his live show is fantastic, with similarities to Springsteen and Big Star to keep the set pumping for 90 minutes. I hope Pete tours again in the Uk, preferably before 2019. 

First 4 minutes, a typical lp filler....then Life On A Chain 

The after show meet at the merch store did not go that well, as my drunk pal tried to sing harmonies with Pete. My friend "Nah...nah...you doing it wrong"......Pete "Well man, you are singin' my part.....I wrote it, I should know" 

New Americana Band Tee It Up At Colonial

With Goydos in this picture they just look like a piss poor Beach Boy's tribute act from the mid 80's. 

Possibly not since the days of Old Tom Morris and his cronies, have we seen two players in the same group, one a major winner, one a multiple tournament winner, sporting beards. Proper beards at that. Lucas Glover and Hunter Mahan look they should be playing vintage bass & guitar's respectively in a new Americana band in the style of Drive By Truckers or The Felice Brothers. Especially with the 'My Name Is Earl' quality of their trailer park style baseball caps. Beards are a new golfing trend I hope catches on, as I would love to see the anti charismatic Casey/Donald/Rose, sour puss Monty, smoothie Couples or 'Rising Damp's Frances De La Tour' lookilike Rory McIIlroy with one. Paul Goydos, on the other hand, the other player in the three ball, sported a goatee in 1996 when he won Arnold Palmer's Bay Hill Invitational, which in facial fuzz stakes is a no-no unless you also work part time in Carphone Warehouse. Arnold quite rightly told him as he came off the 18th "You need to shave that stuff off.......& in the long run should I switch from pay as you go? I don't send many texts" 

Ryan Moore, getting in on the act.

Drive By Truckers

"He's in another category of woolly mammoth." Hunter Mahan on his scraggly beard, compared to that of Lucas Glover

'The ball doesn't know what I've got on my face,' Lucas Glover says about his bearded look.

"Today, Glover said to me, 'the golf ball doesn't know ugly.' I'm not sure who he was talking about, probably me."World No. 9 Paul Casey, who played alongside Glover and eventually missed the cut.

The Felice Brothers

Darren Clarke, Oddjob's & White Drivers

It was a pleasant surprise for me to see Darren Clarke in the winner’s enclosure after 3 years, and back in the World's Top 100 again (85th). I have always enjoyed watching Clarke play; he is an amazing ball striker with a great touch for a big man. I followed him round The Belfry a few years ago at The Quinn Masters, and again at The Welsh Open in 2008. He was a joy to watch, laughing and joking with the crowd, but ultimately playing sublime golf. It's a shame he hasn't been in contention much, but obviously with his personal life regaining some normality after 5 years, it's not a surprise he is beginning to enjoy golf and regain some form.

Clarke trailed England's Chris Wood by four strokes going into the final round of the Iberdrola Open but he carded a 69, this helped him to record a three-shot victory as Wood ultimately shot 6 over. Clarke has not tasted victory since winning the 2008 KLM Open, this victory has convinced him that he can still compete at the highest level and he is playing plenty of tournaments to get back into the top 50.

"I feel there is a lot of golf left in me. I need to get the consistency back again”

"I would like to qualify for another Ryder Cup team and another win would take me back into the top 50. It was nice to win again but I want to be doing it more frequently."

The Northern Irishman has not played in the Ryder Cup since helping Europe to victory at The K Club in 2006 and surely is a definite shoe in as a future captain. "My swing is getting better and better. If I can get myself into contention to win, then great, and I can get up the world rankings again."

Darren paid tribute to golfing great Seve Ballesteros as the Dungannon man ended his three-year wait for a tournament victory in Spain. It was a poignant victory for Clarke - his first since the Dutch Open in 2008 - coming as it did in Ballesteros' homeland in the aftermath of the Spanish superstar's death last week. "We wouldn't be here without him, simple as that - the European Tour would not be in the position it is today without Seve"

A Ryder Cup comeback for 2012 maybe? I wouldn’t bet against it. 

K J Choi holds his nerve to win The Players. Choi, the first Asian to win golf's unofficial fifth major, was understandably delighted to claim his eighth victory in the US, more than any other Asian player. "For some reason I felt so comfortable out there," said Choi. "The swing I have right now just doesn't break down under pressure situations. "I was able to be precise and aggressive and keep my rhythm together and that is what brought this performance."

I did however miss Alliss comparing him to OddJob, like he inappropriately does at every Masters.....

After reading loads of good reviews and a quick test of a friends club, I am seriously considering getting one of these bad boys. It did seem a bit dead off the face in terms of feedback, but boy, did it fly.

Van Morrison Into The Mystic

Funky....